it is just me

gosh goodness!!why do i expect so much of myself?i keep having this voice within me saying that, oh ruth, you are far from God, what happen to you, how come you like not trusting God?how come you are in this state now? oh man!!you stupid devil trying to make me think that I am arent anywhere.oh please!daddy God is always with me and He is in me.i m sure i can do this well with daddy God right behind me as my support.watch me!His wisdom surpasses all things!
daddy God, just give me an idea, for my project Lord!!!drop it down upon me!Amen!!!cant wait, i know it will be success but it is like a blocking stone, but i know this blocking stone is meant for me to step up to be a stepping stone!!praise the Lord!i cant wait to conquer this man!a war to fight a war to win!love it:)

hey mom

waking up every single morning, trying to open my sleepy lovely eyes whose eyelids love to kiss one another, my mummy never fails to wake me up.
5am, the time she woke up due to her husband alarm clock, toss and turn and it is already 6.30am, her precious son woke up to prepare for school.ever after 6.30 arrive, her eyes never fail to open and close to check out what her son is doing and is he all ready to go to school.soon, 7am came.her daughter loud alarm rings endlessly as she just lies down on her bed like a log.there she came with her unkempt hair, walking sleepily into her daughter room, sometimes giving her a surprise kiss to wake her up.how wonder my mum is!! :)
these few days really bought me back to my pri sch days.where everything i need to bring to sch are all prepared already. past few days, i was searching high and low for my pink waterbottle to fill and bring to school, finding it shocking that my water bottle has gone missing.was thinking deep down in my heart whether my dad has took my water bottle by accident.but i was not convinced to give up, as so i continue to go on a treasure hunt - my water bottle. which took me a few minutes to find it on the dining table, filled with water!OH MUM!!!how sweet are you!!thank you for your love for me, so unselfish so lovely.how could i ever repay you mum, all you want is for me to rest more, sleep early and be a successful woman in life and a lovely sweet little daughter always by your side..thank you mum!!i believe i can do this as daddy GOD is with me and through Him, I could do all things!! WATCH ME GROW MUM!!WATCH AND SEE!!!
I LOVE YOU MUM!! <3

watch your pretty little favourite daughter become a beautiful glorious eagle soaring in the sky!

hey friend

hey good friend.you are really one good friend who is totally close to my heart.i think i never have such awesome friend before in my life.thank GOD for you.thank you so much.thanks for taking in all my nonsense and entertain my rubbish.been tough for you right?i think so too.i think i am one who should lead a life alone and not pull anyone down with me.right friend??i think i made u suffer too much and i think you should stay far from me and find a better friend ok?i bet you will.you are totally nice and daddy GOD give bless you with a better nicer awesome friend.thank you for everything and i think we should stay further from one another.
just wanna tell u in my heart you are my number one friend :)

Inferior

it has been a long time since i blog.super lazy to blog.really wish no one will read my blog.maybe it is time for me to change to sometime i write just for myself to read that all.

ok.i really wanna share with my cg what i caught at service today seriously.which has been speaking to me the past one week.it is to GUARD MY HEART!!

have been reading dating delilah and this spokes to me and the service spoke to me too.halfway through the week, the Holy Spirit prompted me that i hasn't been hearing sermons for the past few days which i normally do.but i didnt go and on sermon to hear.i continue to just go on with my busy life.had alot of thoughts that ran through my life.mostly is about my future.i used to be so confident about it knowing that it is in daddy GOD's hand and all things will be good.but now i am having second thoughts.my heart was pretty troubled, worried more about two things in life.was pretty emo and heartbroken two days before.was trying to find someone to talk to but i found no one.i felt so heavy hearted.looking and digging for one person to pour out my sorrows.and i give up and turn to the LORD.and it was good.i told myself not to think about it.seriously.

today after feeling so awesome after service.one thing smack right into my face.i have some small outer appearance of me that i feel super inferior about and always wished that nobody sees it or notice it but today.hahahaha.spot on by this guy.gosh!and he message another friend and another guy know about it.gosh!!i am a girl and my fault is known by guys.i know they treated me like a brother but i really wish to be treated like a girl at times.i tried but i think, no use man.i wish i could cut my hair off and make it short and be a guy man.totally.what is good to be a girl?being make fun of and pretend oh it is alright and dun think about it.i seriously think that i need to bang wall ten times and wish that banging the wall will change people thinking and perception about me.i was so sad but thanks love for you to hear my sorrows.i cried on my way home.never walk so heavy hearted home in my life.went to the playground and stared blankly into space.tears flow down endlessly.the worse day of my life.forget it.what is the point of suffering it myself and people dun even know and dun even care.what should i even care about you?guys are just insensitive.to them what is funny they will just share it with their friends.i thought good friends will protect one another and dun let people know their flaws.maybe i am too sensitive.i m having second thought, i think from now on, going to church is equals to wearing long sleeve shirt and long pants, wrap my whole body out.so it is time for me to buy more clothes.praise the LORD man.thanks.i should not be bother about it.feeling so down.it sucks.but this is reality.face it ruth.just stay strong in Christ.all things will be good.i want to go out now!!can someone bring me out for supper for ice cream??i want to eat ice cream, make myself happy :)

friendship

oh gosh!u know what i just realised?!?!i cant believe it.seriously.our close friendship can be easily test by just one girl, just ONE GIRL that u like.gosh!!can u believe it??how can this happen.feel so loser.aiya.dun care la.it is the girl u like, not the guy i like. MY GUY WILL BE JAP-KOREAN!!!i proclaim and claim it in JESUS name!!AMEN man! :) cant wait, but RUTH DUN WANT TO HIT 20 YEARS OLD!!!! no way no!!!GOSH!!

and thank you brother, Avier, Ah Xin and Yang for always being there for me and hearing my cries and trouble.and Praise the LORD for all of you.wonder how terrible life will be without u :(

and CALEB LIM!!! U HAVE GROWN!! GROWN SO MUCH!! SO MATURE!! REALLY IS GOD WHO IS DOING THAT!! I TELL U! GIRLS WILL FLY TO U LIKE BEES FLYING TO HONEY!!

when i told my lovely handsome brother about what happen and my problem, he apply straight to what we received from service: ' GUARD YOUR HEART, LET IT NOT BE TROUBLED' gosh!!daddy GOD is so faithful :)

WAKE UP CALL!

RUTH! WAKE UP!!

you cannot fall into it, once you fall, you couldn't get up and I am saying that seriously, you cannot get up yourself. Rejection sucks! so better not get into it.

I like the life I am leading now, but there is always something that makes me things life would be better where Daddy GOD thinks the other way round.

OH PLEASE GOD!! let me fall in love with you like mad, please let me do that.I WANT TO LOVE YOU DEEPLY!!! and let it all be You who do it and You who saves me out of the depth that I have fallen into.

I Give Up Myself Just For You Oh LORD!!

Use Me!!

thank you ah xin!!

thank you ah xin!!i really thank you for being there for me man!!

really need people to hear my heart man.really thank you for counselling and hearing me out.and your advice is really good!!praise GOD for that.daddy GOD really put you there for reason man.

unmerited favour

OHMYGOSH!!

RUTH GOT HER UNMERITED FAVOUR BOOK!!!

AWESOME! :) RUTH LOVE IT.HARDCOVER AND HEAVY MAN.

wahahhahaa.

PASTOR PRINCE ROCK!!

thanksgiving

i am really grateful for :

1. MY FAMILY

2. GOOD FRIENDS IN PRI SCH, SEC SEC, POLY, WORK AND CHURCH

3. ITE CG

4. GREW PRETTIER:)

5. GREW TO KNOW DADDY GOD MORE

6. WONDERFUL TEACHER WHO REALLY GUIDED ME

7. BROTHER AND MOTHER TO COME NCC

8. FULFUILL MY CALLING

9. AND MORE...

befrienders

YES AR!!

RUTH GOT IN BEFRIENDERS!!

but i step down fro Chinese ministry choir.

now have to focus on my season, my calling: to be a BEFRIENDER!!! :)

love it.awesome man :)

oh yea ya.and i m under Zi Xin team but he is going over to genrev, so now i m under pretty Dawn.love it.gonna enjoy myself :)

my guy

goodness!i just realise something.korean guys are awesome!!my bet.

whaha.and ever since i like korean, g dragon just rock my life.

u should go and see how g dragon looks like and how talented he is then u will know.

wahahhaa.

angerlina and i likes the same type of guys.those quiet quiet kind one and when they joke, is really funny until u wana bang wall those kind and he joke is not joke just to attract attention but is natural one.wwahahahaha.

i just dun know why but i really hope daddy GOD will give me someone who looks like boy boy and his characters is those quiet quiet but sharing and funny one.do have someone in mind but trust GOD.not going to do anything for i know it will hurt myself more.so now i should just concentrate on my studies and put all these things behind me and throw it to daddy GOD!!

i m somehow looking forward to all of us grow up.i wish to see my good friends getting married.so cool la!!

BOAZ

wow!!i forgot about this.

ytd was Boaz virgin trip out with me.bought him to the library, met my poly friends then my ite cg mates.wow shiok.he is so pretty man.everyone was like wow wow wow!!

praise the LORD for Boaz!!loving him more and more :)

shall bring Boaz out more often :)

RED PEN

MY CHALLENGES AND PROBLEMS ARE WRITTEN IN RED CAUSE IT IS COVERED BY JESUS' BLOOD!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!

THANK YOU!!!

PRAYING IN ENGLISH IS LIKE CLIMBING UP THE STAIRS, BUT PRAYING IN THE SPIRIT IS LIKE GOING UP THE ESCALATOR.

YOU REST BUT YOU ARE MAKING PROGRESS!!

new watch

YES YES YES!!

RUTH GOT A NEW WATCH!!

super duper happy.have been eyeing it since i went HuiLong shop.love it man.

with pay comes along shopping :)

RUTH WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND AND WALK RIGHT BESIDE YOU, NEVER LET YOU GO!

my new lappy

RUTH FINALLY GOT HER NEW LAPPY!!!

shall give my lappy a name: BOAZ!!!

wahahahaa.my husband!

AH XIN!!

AH XIN!!!dun go off too fast leh!!!

i was super happy to join befrienders when u are still in it.

my dream came true, it is to join befrienders before u left and somehow i did!!got interviewed by you!it was pretty fun.i love it.enjoyed those moments with u my good friend!!

no matter what, u must come back and find us ok???

will miss u like mad!!thank GOD for msn to keep in touch with u, if not i wil bang wall.wahahah

updates

WOW WOW WOW!!

it has been a long time since i updated this blog man.

life has been pretty good, just that there are really moments where i really run back to GOD.seriously.

what Pastor Lian preached yesterday just hit me. Kids always thought that they could do everything.and i think i still have that thinking too.wondergirl, can do everything and anything that i want, until i was being stretch to my limit and that when i really cry out to Abba Father for help.nevertheless, i really thank my lovely close sweet friends around me for staying there with me, supporting me and hear my bitching and worries and all the nonsense i need to say out.really thankful for those wonderful friends.

and RUTHLIM!! you seriously need some catch up with ur friends man.now ur pri sch and sec sch close friends all ended their As, now holiday ar u all shiok ar, so must go out.i dun care.better go out.although u guys keep saying i am the busy one, this time i am really the busy one.but still i dun care, i wil make time out with u all.

AH TAY!!dun go in army so fast can?miss u leh.so much to talk to you to catch up with u and now u are going in army.i dun care.u better meet up with me once before u go army if not i am so not going to talk to you anymore (just kidding).

YANGWEILEE!!why disappear on ur birthday?i wanna pass u something u know.but gf more important la.if not ur gf kill me, i die.but still holiday coming, u better meet up with me soon yea.

ELIZ!!went to nie le.will miss u la.must hang out more ok?really treasure the friendship that we had.you rock my life.

ETHEL babe.i wanna meet up with u.u busy woman.so long didnt see u and have a long htht with you ever since arrow camp.must meet up soon alright?wahahaha :) steal u away from sch work.

CLAUDINE!!!catching up with u is the best thing ever and i cant wait for ur sip to end so that we can hang out and go crazy together man.love it.

DRUS darling, really miss being in the same class as you.you are like my stressful, stress relieve love man.seriously, with u around, i just enjoy life and dun feel that stress.but i am thankful for having u as my friend, always blessing me, and it is time for me to bless u back yea :)

ZS, great friend u are.but must spend more time with me and drus and bring ur darling along too.love her lots man.she is the most awesome girl i ever met.my bet:)

C.R.Y.!!! finally Claudia is back from sip, so it is time to let our hair down and lets go party man.miss Claudia la.so so much.and the Yvonne woman, she ar.blurr like a queen but still love her for who is she.you two are close and precious to my heart.a great friendship that i dun want to let go of.

ITE CG!!u never know how much u guys have blessed me.u guys seen my ups and my downs, making me happy and laugh like crazy when i was feeling so deep down inside. hanging out with u guys, i can just be who i am, i need now put up a front to cover myself.that is really awesome.and thank GOD for kingdom friend like you, being with u guys is a blessing to my.cant wait to see u all grow!!

off i go to sch.two more days and that is holiday, but what is holiday?it seems like a school day still.... :)

east coast outing with ITE CG!! <3

report :

weather : SUNNY!!! (super)

where?: East Coast Park

what?: Cycling, Pool, BONDING!!!

who?: ITE CG LOVE <3

when?: TODAY ladey, 17OCT2009

seriously,the weather is so sunny today la.i got burn man.now my hands and tighs are super duper red.like some prawn kena cook like that sia.wahahha.at first in the morning, Erick message me that the weather forecast said that the weather will not be that good, and seriously, it is super sunny la.i have not been under this kind of sun for super duper long already man.goodness!!

then i cycled to ecp and halfway at dunman high sch there, my arms just suddenly numb and i feel so breathless, it is like that time at rugby match when my same left arm hurts till i nearly cried, so i sad down on the walk way, took out my accessories, maybe it is causing the blood not to flow and started to rest.and when i took out my water to drink, my hands start to shake sia,seriously, it is super scary.i hate this kind of thing.and Ian miss called me and so i gave him a call.i didnt imagine my voice sounded so horrible.hate that feeling.REJECT THAT IN JESUS NAME!!

then i met my cg and we start our cycling journey.super fun can!!love it.banging one another, stop at pit stop to take a drink or grab a bite, and even had awesome lunch at the hawker and drinking sugar cane together.so fun can!!hehehehe.then we went and set off, got stops here and there and waiting for one another.but nevertheless, ILOVETHECYCLINGTOGETHER! and then we all got burn like some red crab.wahahahha.and Christina become so emo cause Eric cycled in front without her until she cycled like a drunkard.whahaha.and Eric music are awesome man.the speaker are so good la.wahhaha.super fun la:)

then we head to pool.super fun man.they do crazy stupid stuff.and mahn took stupid ugly photo of me.cannot make it la.wanna bang wall.wahhaah.love to hang out with them.and i went to mac to buy food, it got on my nerve man seriously.wanna bang wall.and i just realised that i left my happy meal toy behind.angry!!sad :(

then we went for dinner together.and Ian daddy is so nice.fetch me home.HEROCKSLA!!love him deep deep man.and i am super happy for Ian to have such a father who is there for him and is proud of Ian too.Ian, treasure your daddy yea.i like him:)

and ITE cg, we shall have more outing soon.love it :)