hey friend

hey good friend.you are really one good friend who is totally close to my heart.i think i never have such awesome friend before in my life.thank GOD for you.thank you so much.thanks for taking in all my nonsense and entertain my rubbish.been tough for you right?i think so too.i think i am one who should lead a life alone and not pull anyone down with me.right friend??i think i made u suffer too much and i think you should stay far from me and find a better friend ok?i bet you will.you are totally nice and daddy GOD give bless you with a better nicer awesome friend.thank you for everything and i think we should stay further from one another.
just wanna tell u in my heart you are my number one friend :)

Inferior

it has been a long time since i blog.super lazy to blog.really wish no one will read my blog.maybe it is time for me to change to sometime i write just for myself to read that all.

ok.i really wanna share with my cg what i caught at service today seriously.which has been speaking to me the past one week.it is to GUARD MY HEART!!

have been reading dating delilah and this spokes to me and the service spoke to me too.halfway through the week, the Holy Spirit prompted me that i hasn't been hearing sermons for the past few days which i normally do.but i didnt go and on sermon to hear.i continue to just go on with my busy life.had alot of thoughts that ran through my life.mostly is about my future.i used to be so confident about it knowing that it is in daddy GOD's hand and all things will be good.but now i am having second thoughts.my heart was pretty troubled, worried more about two things in life.was pretty emo and heartbroken two days before.was trying to find someone to talk to but i found no one.i felt so heavy hearted.looking and digging for one person to pour out my sorrows.and i give up and turn to the LORD.and it was good.i told myself not to think about it.seriously.

today after feeling so awesome after service.one thing smack right into my face.i have some small outer appearance of me that i feel super inferior about and always wished that nobody sees it or notice it but today.hahahaha.spot on by this guy.gosh!and he message another friend and another guy know about it.gosh!!i am a girl and my fault is known by guys.i know they treated me like a brother but i really wish to be treated like a girl at times.i tried but i think, no use man.i wish i could cut my hair off and make it short and be a guy man.totally.what is good to be a girl?being make fun of and pretend oh it is alright and dun think about it.i seriously think that i need to bang wall ten times and wish that banging the wall will change people thinking and perception about me.i was so sad but thanks love for you to hear my sorrows.i cried on my way home.never walk so heavy hearted home in my life.went to the playground and stared blankly into space.tears flow down endlessly.the worse day of my life.forget it.what is the point of suffering it myself and people dun even know and dun even care.what should i even care about you?guys are just insensitive.to them what is funny they will just share it with their friends.i thought good friends will protect one another and dun let people know their flaws.maybe i am too sensitive.i m having second thought, i think from now on, going to church is equals to wearing long sleeve shirt and long pants, wrap my whole body out.so it is time for me to buy more clothes.praise the LORD man.thanks.i should not be bother about it.feeling so down.it sucks.but this is reality.face it ruth.just stay strong in Christ.all things will be good.i want to go out now!!can someone bring me out for supper for ice cream??i want to eat ice cream, make myself happy :)